My list of blocked users on Facebook contain the following 8 individuals:
1. Wit’s End
2. McBougie
3. McBougie’s cousin
4. This asshole who told my boyfriend that I was messaging him and trying to hook-up (which I seriously wasn’t)
5. A random Baton Rouge trick that my best friend (not me) slept with
6. McBougie’s new boyfriend (who I caught sneaking out of the apartment behind my office a few days ago)
7. Wit’s End’s “straight” profile
2. McBougie
3. McBougie’s cousin
4. This asshole who told my boyfriend that I was messaging him and trying to hook-up (which I seriously wasn’t)
5. A random Baton Rouge trick that my best friend (not me) slept with
6. McBougie’s new boyfriend (who I caught sneaking out of the apartment behind my office a few days ago)
7. Wit’s End’s “straight” profile
And 8. Some guy that called me faggot on my wall after I expressed my feelings about the Project Runway season 3 finally.
This is the list in its entirety. Two exes (well, three if you count both of Wit’s End’s accounts) and a bunch of haphazard dipshits who annoyed me at some point. All the other exes and random guys I’ve hooked up with are still friends with unlimited access to my profile info. Even if I don’t particularly care for the guy, I don’t see the point in keeping a mile-long, documented shit list. That having been said, I don’t really do a good job of ending things on what’s called “good terms.” I tend to set fire to the bridge and walk away in slow motion. I’m not one of those people who can be friends with their ex. Mostly because I piss them off by doing something dumb like prancing into the bar with some other random guy the day after the break-up. I also have a really bad habit of getting busted being places where I’m not supposed to be. I’ll be dancing with some girl at City Bar and I’ll feel a tap on my shoulder. And it’s always the guy I’m currently talking to. And he always looks at me with a confused/irritated gaze and says, “I thought you said you were going to your grandma’s house in Breaux Bridge?”
Okay, first of all, although both of my grandmothers are still alive, they both live in New Orleans with every other member of my family. Secondly, I’m not sure why, but most of the lies I tell take place in one of two places: Gramercy or Breaux Bridge. I’ve never once been to Gramercy, and I’ve only been to Breaux Bridge to have lunch or shop for a Mother’s Day gift. But it’s just been my experience that no one will ever question your business in either of these places. No matter how dumb the lie is.
This is the list in its entirety. Two exes (well, three if you count both of Wit’s End’s accounts) and a bunch of haphazard dipshits who annoyed me at some point. All the other exes and random guys I’ve hooked up with are still friends with unlimited access to my profile info. Even if I don’t particularly care for the guy, I don’t see the point in keeping a mile-long, documented shit list. That having been said, I don’t really do a good job of ending things on what’s called “good terms.” I tend to set fire to the bridge and walk away in slow motion. I’m not one of those people who can be friends with their ex. Mostly because I piss them off by doing something dumb like prancing into the bar with some other random guy the day after the break-up. I also have a really bad habit of getting busted being places where I’m not supposed to be. I’ll be dancing with some girl at City Bar and I’ll feel a tap on my shoulder. And it’s always the guy I’m currently talking to. And he always looks at me with a confused/irritated gaze and says, “I thought you said you were going to your grandma’s house in Breaux Bridge?”
Okay, first of all, although both of my grandmothers are still alive, they both live in New Orleans with every other member of my family. Secondly, I’m not sure why, but most of the lies I tell take place in one of two places: Gramercy or Breaux Bridge. I’ve never once been to Gramercy, and I’ve only been to Breaux Bridge to have lunch or shop for a Mother’s Day gift. But it’s just been my experience that no one will ever question your business in either of these places. No matter how dumb the lie is.
I’m not a bad person, though. Part of me feels like I’m such a fantastic Christian boy deep down that I’d rather the other guy feel like the hero instead of moping around, feeling like the victim and blaming themselves. My douchebaggery is selfless, really. I’ll be the villain as long as you can sleep at night.
My ratio of friends to blocked users is 1581 to 8. I like that. It tells me that I tolerate more people than I detest. I might fuck up our post-relationship friendship, but I’ll see you from across the room, quietly smile to myself, and wish you luck with the new guy.
That’s just the kind of badass I am.
My ratio of friends to blocked users is 1581 to 8. I like that. It tells me that I tolerate more people than I detest. I might fuck up our post-relationship friendship, but I’ll see you from across the room, quietly smile to myself, and wish you luck with the new guy.
That’s just the kind of badass I am.
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